Wednesday, July 12, 2006

incomplete

On a mid winters' day in July 2006...

I came home from church in the morning and walked to my office at the university under a cloudless sky. Fresh shoots and buds are peeping out of their hiding in barren branches in the vain hope of an early spring. The day is bright, but the winds carry winter's chill. The sun beams a mild warm grin on the southern hemisphere and my heart remains lost in thoughts and dreams... of you.

I do not know where you are, yet I know that every day and every step I take brings me closer to you. Each battle I fight is fuelled by the promise of you and your warm and comforting embrace. I try to imagine the sound of your voice and to hear you whisper in my ear... and sometimes I almost do! I hope to catch the smell of your hair in my breath, though often I fail. In my dreams I see your lips curved in a half smile... and I smile back. The depth of your eyes stirs me in the depth of my soul. Your gaze makes me shudder. I crave to be in your dreams. Tonight you will probably be in mine. In you I shall find the reasons for my existence. Every time I watch the stars and moon, I wonder whether you are looking at them too. I thank the sun every day for keeping you warm in your own corner of the world. Thoughts of you keep me warm, as I wait for you patiently in my corner of the world. One day, our corners will merge... and become whole. I think of you whenever I hum a beautiful tune to myself, with each verse I write and with every jab of my guitar. I cannot see you or feel your touch, but I live in hope. The strength it gives me knows no failing. I miss you. I miss you most in the height of my happiness and in the depth of my sorrow. I preserve those moments so that I could share them with you one day. I remember you when I am afraid or tempted; then I am redeemed. I do not know why I put all my faith in you; when I do not even know who you are. I am awed by how you inspire me merely by the promise of your existence. The promise of you inspire me to be a better man... for you.

No matter where you are or what you are doing right now, I want you to know that I love you. I love you more than my heart and mind and soul could express. I have loved you from the beginning of time; and I will love you forevermore.

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